Freeing yourself is one thing, claiming ownership over that freed self is another.
Toni Morrison
Why do you label me?
Why can’t I be all things?
Flowing,
Fluid
Being
Movement
Change is constant
So why must I
Fit this label
Until I die
I am no thing all the time
But Black
And until this morning I loved all that
I danced with Baldwin in my dreams
And he peeled back layers id never seen
Up under it all
Deep down inside
At my core I was love and pride.
Over the last week I’ve reacquainted myself with James Baldwin, Toni Morrison, August Wilson, and Maya Angelou. Each of their lives spoked to me in a way I wasn’t prepared to feel. Toni inspired me to write the first few sentences of my first novel. James inspired me to open my heart to love in ways I’d never imagined I’d feel safe doing this time around. August sparked ideas for community building events and programming. Maya reminded me that no dream is too big and no life to short. They all partied and enjoyed life. They all loved deeply the people- our people. They all showed me a way that I had never been introduced to in that manner and I wept. I’ve been weeping all week, honestly. Tears of anger, confusion and forgiveness. Healing tears.
I wrote Label Me Wednesday in the midst of a cry fest. Mental freedom is not an easy thing to possess. In opening up my mind, so many of the details that I loved so much became obsolete. An internal battle of ownership over “me” has been taking place between my heart and my mind. My heart knows my truth but my mind knows reality- it’s a close one. I think I’ve come to terms with the reality that I may never know the truth truth, only my truth. I’ve come to understand that the only thing I’m in control of is me. It’s important for me to clear my mind of all that doesn’t support my greater good. The race to mental freedom starts with silence. That’s what I’m working on now. The freedom to think, or not, intentionally. I’ll keep yall posted.
Thank you for the continued love and support on my journey. We are stronger together. Stay safe.
B 🖤❤💚✊🏾
View Comments (1)
That truth truth is so elusive... We search and search, and sometimes it stills eludes me... Something I just came across the other day... There is our truth, which is hella critical and we need this in our lives to function and be free, but then there is Truth (your truth truth), and I feel its Truth that is so elusive... I yearn for it as I feel you do also.
As long as we show up every day, we get closer and closer to Truth, and that is all I can ask of myself.
Your writing is impeccable!!
Thank you for posting