If we are going to be part of the solution, we have to engage the problems.
Majora Carter
I cannot pretend that 2020-2 has not already been kicking my butt. What I can do is not dwell on that fact and decide to intentionally be positive in this space.
I created this blog to help me work through some mental challenges I was having. I wanted to inspire people to look within and figure out what the real problems are in our lives. And not just look, but deal with them! Confront them head-on after naming them to ourselves and others. As I’ve worked to unpack my problems and face them I’ve recognized the root of much of my suffering was moving without intention.
Intention means doing something on purpose, deliberately. Many of the decisions I’ve made in my life were nonconsensual- meaning I felt as if I had no true choice. We often are guided by our cultural norms, family norms, and/or community norms. What I’ve realized is that many of these norms feel unnatural to me and conflict with what I want to do internally. Fighting every day to show up in a space or way that does not truly embody who you are can be draining and harmful. Add a pandemic to all that and it’s really been a spicy journey with this blog. I’ve learned so much about myself, unlearned so much about how I am to be in the world, and am going through a healing journey that is both exciting and terrifying.
It took me almost 3 years, but my intention for this blog has begun to materialize and I’m so excited for what the future will hold.
What I can offer is a request for you to sit with yourself and ask “what do I really want to do? What do I really want to feel? How do I really want to be?” See what comes up. Be honest with yourself. Journal out your answer. Pay attention to your body when you are writing the question. Pay attention to how it changes when you begin to answer- when you know there’s more you want to say or more depth to how you feel.
Before it felt like I was being controlled. Like I had to do things to be worthy of space here. Now, I recognize how this framing forced me into many situations I did not want nor deserve to be in. Moving without my own purpose, moving without deliberate reasoning and connection to my goals was self-harm. We have the ability to create the life best for us through choice. Use your agency to be exactly who you, in your heart, want to be. I will be working right beside you, forging my own way, unlearning the intentional and unintentional ways I disconnect from my purpose. I will also be intentionally healing, taking care of myself, prioritizing my wellbeing. I encourage you, in year 3 of a pandemic, to do the same. Stress can kill you, there’s no other way to say it. You are valuable. We all are. We all deserve peace, and this is your sign to get to it!
I am choosing peace this season by spending time with myself and my ancestors in new ways. If you’re not new here you know I love a 21-day challenge, and this season I am doing a poetic meditation challenge on my podcast! I will be reciting poems from those who came before me and unpacking how they impact me today, before taking time with myself through breathwork. I encourage you to join me, whether through the podcast or in your preferred method of meditation. Black History Month has always felt like labor to me, searching for deeper meaning and understanding. This year, I am embodying peace. Peace was something many of my ancestors could not dwell in and I will honor their love by taking time and doing it for myself. We all can.
Below’s the link to the first episode of this season’s 21-day challenge. I hope it brings you some peace. Let me know in the comments how you are moving with intention this Black History Month and how you plan to spend some time with peace!
https://anchor.fm/un2re21/episodes/Poetic-Meditation-1-e1e2auj
Stay safe and enjoy life. You deserve it.
B ✊🏾🖤❤💚
P.S. This isn’t the first time we’ve talked about intention around here! Make sure you check out how far we’ve come by reading one of our first blogs: Do Everything With Intention ‼️Much love for the support family 🙏🏾